I figure it's not my job to try to change people and demand a lot from them. I guess that means I must either accept people as they are or set myself up for disappointment later on down the road.
I was listening to Billy Joel sing "Just The Way You Are" this morning. The best I can figure, it's a song from one lover to another; I think, however, it is equally applicable from one friend to another.
I guess I'm different - I do want clever conversation from my friends - I'm not likely to get it from elsewhere. And why does Joel exclude that quality from "I just want someone that I can talk to"? Is he revealing himself as an unclever conversationalist? How demeaning.
I found myself in two different situations this weekend. The first was watching the Texas game with a good friend of mine and acquaintances of his; the second was at my nephew's birthday party two days later. The common factor of the situations was that I had met some of these guys before, but I was able to walk away from each not remembering a lot of names or making promises to keep in touch. Just the way I like it.
[Aside - I also heard one of my favorite Nick Drake songs this morning. The opening lines are:
And now you know my name.
But I don't feel the same.
That loosely sums up my general thoughts about meeting people.]
On Saturday morning, I met Brian in Fort Worth to watch the game with the Fort Worth Texas Exes. If it's a big game, I usually don't venture far from home. I pace, I throw things, and I yell at the tv. It's barely acceptable to do that in my own house, but not yours.
Anyway, I assimilate better within a group if the other men talk sports; upon first impression, I am fairly untrusting of those who don't. It's wholly unfamiliar to me meet a group of guys and sports is not one of the first topics that comes up. What else do people who don't know each other talk about? Seriously.
Example - The trivia question during the game asked which university holds the record for 11 consecutive seasons of at least one rusher attaining 1,000 yards. Conversations that existed between groups of two's and three's opened up to a group activity; it was a wonderful social experiment.
Monday morning, I saw a couple of guys at the birthday party I played basketball with couple of months ago but haven't seen since. As everybody had a baby to tend to (in addition to the 15 kids running around the house on a treasure hunt), conversations tended to remain on the surface level, centering around the weather, lawn care basics, and how nice it was to have the Monday off.
I fully enjoyed myself, but I didn't walk away knowing any more about these gentlemen than when I walked through the door. It was a kids' party so I know my edification and person growth weren't mentioned on the invitation.
Still, I want clever conversation. I just don't expect it as much as I used to.
