What Year Is This Again?

I got very confused reading the paper this morning; I thought perchance I slipped into a time warp and went back ten years.

A picture of O.J. Simpson trying on some ill-fitting gloves; a review of a Public Enemy cd; A potential scandal concerning a Clinton.

There really hasn't been as much talk about the Simpson trial as I anticipated. Quickly looking through the cable guide, I've seen one show discussing it. And that was on PBS. I guess after ten years, there isn't much left to discuss. Or convince the other side of. And for the record, I believe the jury correctly acquitted a man minimally guilty of complicity to murder.

So I pulled out my journal from ten years ago to see what I had to say about it. By that point, I was writing shorter paragraphs daily instead of weekly pages. As it happened, I had the day off and was able to watch the verdict from my couch. I wrote that day of how proud I was of the legal system, despite its obvious flaws. And I still am. The entry was a little Kay Adams, but for the most part, we do a good job of convicting the guilty and acquitting the innocent. Just please don't talk to me that day Tommy DeLay struts out the Travis County courtroom like George Jefferson.

But when it comes to securing my constitutional rights, it's not the Supreme Court I'm scared of; it's society.

Now, I don't exactly know what a strict constructionalist is or what a judicial activist is. I guess like Potter Stewart, I can't define it but I know what it is when I see it.

I really don't see the end of civilization if same-sex couples are allowed to marry. The only downside would be the end of humorous bumper stickers like "God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve". But yeah, I'm willing to expand the narrowed limits of state recognized marriage.

Wanna burn a flag? Fine by me. Just don't ask me for a light. I probably won't help, but I'll support your right to act like an idiot. Which part of "Congress shall make no law" do you not understand?

And while I don't own a gun, don't have plans to own a gun, don't even want to own a gun, I'll be the first in line to buy a sawed-off automatic with a flamethrower on the side (for hunting purposes) if you so much as propose a 24 hour waiting period. The 2nd Amendment is just as valid as all the others.

And then there's San Francisco's mayor, Gavin Newsom. Yesterday, Mayor Newsom claimed there is a civil rights case to be made for free wireless access.

Now, I'm pretty liberal when it comes to interpreting the Constitution. But, believe me when I say I searched the Constitution and couldn't find any amendment regarding downloading Jenna Jameson videos at Starbucks because all you have is dial-up at the house.

So, if you don't understand that internet access was probably not what our Founding Fathers had in mind when they thought of forming a more perfect Union, please move to Newsom's backyard.

I heard San Andreas is due. Maybe you can form your own Union as you drift off into the Pacific.