The Hierarchy to My Heart

Due to inclement weather, I had the entire day to spend without anything to accomplish. Melissa, however, had to go into work so I had the entire day to spend doing nothing all by myself.

I was up at my normal time, but by 8 o'clock, I was already bored. I was able to spend most of the day cleaning, putting out Christmas decorations, doing laundry, and other odds and ends that get forgotten during the week.

I'm rarely comfortable lounging around the house spending all my attention on the television. I don't feel guilty watching a history-related program but I try to do something else - read, clean, cook, etc. - if I'm watching a sitcom. That way, the entire time won't be wasted. Just some of it.

It's been a while since I've been home during the day. In between chores, I'd put on a show only seen in syndication. At about the same time, a buddy of mine called and the conversation soon turned to harboring innocent crushes.

When I was in third grade, out teacher gave all the kids in the class a fill-in-the-blank packet to fill out and give our mothers for Mother's Day. One of the sentences was something like "I wouldn't trade in my mother for anything in the world except for ____". At that wise age, nothing was more obvious than Cheryl Tiegs. And I meant it.

And were she to replace my momma, she'd be my Sugar Momma.

Many of my crushes were, and still are, people whose names I can't automatically recall. They are usually referred to as "the-chick-who-played-so-and-so-on-such-and-such".

But the next major milestone (and current devotee) is Helen Hunt. But that's already been discussed. Before I got married, I made sure my then-fiance was aware that I would run off with Ms. Hunt in a second if the opportunity presented itself. I guess that ship has sailed with the arrival of Makena Lei. Who's got next?

Now, I'm sure most of the crushes I have are commonly shared with many, many people - the usual suspects, if you will. Catherine Zeta Jones. Vanessa Marcil. Kate Beckinsale. Jessica Simpson.

Then there are more obscure ones. Samantha Brown. Teresa Strasser. Giada De Laurentiis.

Then the used-to-be-obscure-but-not-so-much. Jenny Lewis. Rachael Ray.

Then the ones that force you to go out on a limb and invite ridicule and isolation. So be it.

Kristin Chenoweth. She's the chick who plays Annabeth Schott in The West Wing. She's also in the current run of Old Navy commercials. You know she's cute, too. Just get over yourself and admit it.

Part of it is the novelty of it all. I'm a hair under 6'5". She's 4'11".

Wouldn't you love to see us walking down the street hand-in-hand?