5 Word Letter for "Sad and Lonely Individual" - Begins with an "L"

All of the magazines in our agency's waiting room are old beyond old. And they only come in two varieties - Good Housekeeping and Golf Magazine. If you want to recall the days of when Mickelson was "The Best Player to Never Have Won a Major" or when Duval was ranked #1, come down to our place. We'll hook you up.

Since I've gone through those magazines many times over, I had to move on to fresh material. A few months ago, I picked up the "Exclusive News!" of Star Magazine. Even though brain cells deteriorated with each flip of the page, I continued to read. Each week, I found myself looking in the receptionist's office for the latest copy - before it found its way to the waiting room. I knew I had reached rock bottom when I found a copy she put in my mailbox to make sure I saw it.

Not that I'm ready for recovery or even admit a problem.

It's vital that I be kept aware of the latest gossip (I mean Exclusive News!) about Charlie and Denise or Brit and KFed. Or that I know Benedict XVI has a new mp3 player (They called him The iPope - c'mon, isn't that just funny?). But most of all, I must know who Nick is rebounding with.

Actually, I just realized I'm not at rock bottom. That is when I start to work the celebrity crossword puzzle at the back of the magazine.