Vice Versa

In My Fair Lady, Professor Higgins and Colonel Pickering lament the behavioral difficulties of women, in general. "Why can't a woman be more like a man?", they ponder in verse.

My question: why can't a man dress more like a woman?

I'm serious. Even though I may invite quite a bit more ridicule than I already do. (Lucky thing Melissa doesn't read this; she'd absolutely kill me if she knew half the stuff I thought about, much less decided to write about.)

One of my favorite comedians is Eddie Izzard. Part of his persona is painting his nails, wearing makeup, open-toed heels, and clothes described as androgynously effeminate, at best.

He labels himself an Executive Transvestite.

I've been thinking about this ever since last Sunday. Not sure if you caught him at the US Open, but Ian Poulter wore pink pants, a pink shirt, and his caddie carried a pink bag. He looked absolutely stylin' in a masculine sort of way.

As coincidence would have it, I had a meeting yesterday morning with a lady wearing a pink shirt and pink pants; same colors, but she looked very feminine.

Women have stolen many wardrobe items from males to social acceptance; (pants, suits, wigs, and heels - invented by a man for other men) but reversing the equation is often seen as a decline in masculinity. Why? Who doubts Dave Navarro's masculinity?

One of the female law clerks in our office wears a lot of seersucker pants. I told her the other day I'm extremely jealous. Men can wear seersucker shirts and walk unnoticed. It takes a man of great strength and character to wear seersucker shorts. However, only the truly daring can pull off wearing seersucker pants. As Melissa cringes every time she sees my blue-striped shorts, I think it'll take until next summer to have a pair of pink seersucker trousers hanging in my closet.

It's not too uncommon to see a man wearing a pink shirt. It's a staple of any preppy wardrobe. In fact, I'm wearing mine today. But I'm also wearing perhaps the most comfortable pair of shoes I own - my clogs. I may not be Executive, but I could pull off Middle Management.

I'm not advocating that men emasculate themselves or start looking and acting like women. Not at all.

But, I do grant I'm a little nearer the precipice than most. And started a little earlier.

In junior high, I was the first kid in school to pierce his left ear. Later, I pierced the right ear and wore two earrings for a while in college.

Also in junior high, it also became fashionable for the boys to wear black eye liner. Truth is, the reason we boys did it is because the girls had to get real close to apply it. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

I've written before about my obsession with manicured nails. But what largely goes unnoticed is the clear layer of polish applied at the end.

I did a little bit of research earlier and found this article:

http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sfmetro/03.98/fashion1-98-3.html

I take it back. This blog won't get me killed by my wife. Wearing a dress would.