I Am Jack's Inner Thoughts

Every once in a while, I like excusing myself from society and living within my own head without any justification or explanation for my own existence. Although it's sometimes a way to escape and hide from myself, that's not it this time. Just a time of joyful solitude and allowing myself to be me.

It started last night watching Fight Club.

When Tyler says that he is everything the Narrator wants to be ("All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not."), I wondered if I have my own Tyler Durden out there somewhere, doing all the things Neil thinks about in the deepest, darkest confines of his mind. Yes, I am referring to myself in the third person.

Then I thought, Wow, what if this is the Tyler Durden-est I get, and there's another "me" out there, but more subdued and not as daring and bold and brash. That's scary in a funny way.

With that pinballing inside my head all day, I came across an exercise that asks you to name the seven songs you've been listening to a lot lately and write a bit about what it is that has captured your attention.

I typically pride myself on having a diverse playlist of Favorites. My personality demands change lest boredom and resentment set in. I'm likely to hear Johnny Cash, followed by The Postal Service, followed by Yo-Yo Ma, followed by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs - which did happen the other day.

Something else different about my music lately - I'm content listening to the music I currently own, not searching for new bands and new music. I'd waited weeks for the James Figurine/Dntel cd to come out; I'm still not ready to go out and get it. Maybe someday soon.

Anyway, here's my list of seven songs I've enjoyed lately:

New York, New York by Sinatra and Co. - apart from being a favorite song from one of my favorite Sinatra musicals, I sing the opening lines just about every morning in the shower (the lines sung by the longshoreman) - "I feel like I'm not out of bed yet; oh, the sun is warm, but my blanket's warmer..." And if you ever get lost, you know the Bronx is up and the Battery's down.

Mamma Mia by ABBA - just hearing the first couple notes makes me start to dance; it just makes me happy.

Meat and Potatoes by Belle and Sebastian - this is a really funny song about a bored couple; I love how it's sung as a sentimental and introspective love ballad. A rather funny and brilliant song; apparently, somebody else gets bored and resentful without change.

A Man/Me/Then Jim by Rilo Kiley - I love the lines "you can sleep upon my doorstep, you can promise me indifference, Jim; but my mind is made up and I'll never let you in again." Wonderful imagery. I wish more people promised me indifference.

Handle With Care by Jenny Lewis, et al - Not to discount the duality of man, vis-a-vis me (that one's for you, Melissa), follow these simple instructions and show me that you really care.

Chattanooga Choo-choo by Glen Miller - this song just sounds like a fun trip along the eastern United States. Miller's right, nothing can be finer than to have my ham and eggs in Carolina.

A Widow's Toast by Neko Case - Neko simply has the deepest meanings intertwined with the most beautiful and soulful voice. I lose myself in the lyrics:

"You raise your glass and may exclaim, 'I'll put my hands on the truth, by God'; But it's faster, Love, than you and me; Faster than the speed of gravity; That's how it catches you from falling; And how it always, always, always slips away." and;

"Better times collide with now; And better times, and better times, are coming still."