One of the best things about going to the Fair each year is knowing how to beat the lines. Like knowing that the line is always non-existent on the North side of the corndog stand. That way, you miss the lines that is always at least 30 people deep.
The first order of business is always getting a Fletchers and bathing it in mustard.
Second order of business is making sure the mustard goes straight from the food to your mouth. No mustard stains here.
Belly's starting to get full - but there's a lot more room as you will soon see.
Each year, concessionaires introduce new items to the Cardiac Arrest Menu. Last year, it was the fried peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This year, it was fried Coke, which is practically the only thing we didn't sample.
Of course, no trip to the Fair is complete without fried cheesecake sprinkled with confectioner's sugar.
Marilyn Monroe in butter. No JFK/RFK jokes please. She stands about 5 feet tall.
One of my favorite sections of the Fair is the trains. Whenever I retire, building a replica will be my project.
For the past 8 years, I've played the Ring Toss - the player has a bucket full of 3" diamater plastic rings. The goal is to toss them about five feet and hook it around any one of a hundred Coke bottles lined up next to each other in vertical and horizontal rows.
Fully expecting this year to end in defeat once again, I paid the kid my $5 contribution to futility. On the second handful of rings, I turned to Melissa and said, "You know why they give you an entire bucket? Because nobody in the history of the Fair has ever won this game."
The next toss, the ring went right around the bottle's neck - no bouncing around. For my efforts, I won a Care Bear.
I was upset to learn that upon winning, they confiscate the remaining rings; apparently twice in almost a decade is too big a risk for these guys.
After the Fair, we stopped by to see Sybil and Terrence. Since we had not eaten enough junk during the day, we ended the day at Snuffer's with some cheese fries.
Believe me, Terry and I perform a mean duet of "London Bridge." We're Fergalicious.
