All In The Family

The family is expanding.

And once Bocephus arrives, he'll have many names to learn quickly.

Even then, he'll have to differentiate two Uncle Eric's (actually, one is an Erik), two Uncle Brian's, and two Uncle Chris'.

Jenny has been married for eight months to Erik. Brooke is in a serious relationship with Brian that is headed that way. Even Chris has a Callie friend whose parents he has met, I understand, at a hockey game. Quite an auspicious beginning, based on my own history. Not to be left out, Nikki is on-and-off with the Foz and Hilary is playing the field.

I mention all of this because of a series of events from a few Sunday's ago. Larry, Brian, and I were in the kitchen cleaning. Brian, as he is quite capable of doing often, said something stupid that got him in trouble with Colleen. While Colleen tore into Brian, I couldn't help but chuckle and watch with delight. Larry asked me if I was amused and I responded that I felt like the old dog with a bunch of pups running around.

Before that incident, we were all talking about how several months ago when Erik got The Talk with Larry. He did something stupid, as he is quite capable of doing often, Jenny told Colleen, Colleen told Larry, and Larry and Erik had a little conversation. I feigned jealousy at never getting that talk, the one that occurs between disappointed father-in-law and chastised son-in-law.

Each Sunday evening, Melissa and I watch Brothers and Sisters. It's not great, but has some redeeming qualities. Mostly, I watch it because it reminds me of my in-laws. It's a show where somebody's cellphone is always ringing to update with the latest gossip and the men involved with a family member suddenly become invisible when drama shows up on the front door, which is always.

And I'm becoming one of them.

A few weeks ago, Jenny left what turned out be a completely innocuous voice message on Melissa's phone. What threw us off, however, was when she told Melissa to call her back immediately. Melissa off-handedly speculated that she was probably pregnant. Suddenly, my acquired propensity for family gossip kicked in. We called Brooke - nothing. We called Colleen - she was happy over the phone but nothing. Chris, nothing. Jenny didn't answer her phone and we didn't hear from her for the rest of the weekend. Obviously, the gossip ended up where it started - with nothing.