My Country Tis of Thee, or God Save the Queen

I know it's not until next Tuesay, but I can't help but get excited about the State of the Union address. This is like the Super Bowl for me. In fact, it's more exciting than the Super Bowl. Plus, no wardrobe malfunctions.

[Aside- the last Super Bowl I saw was Super Bowl XX. That was XX ago. First of all, I don't watch NFL football. Second, why would I want to watch a game where the commercials are billed as the best part?]

But back to State of the Union. It's been an annual tradition of mine to watch it since I was in junior high. Yeah, I should have know back then I never had a chance at being cool.

I absolutely love the Pomp and Circumstance that surrounds it; I don't even care who the president is - I'll watch regardless.

Before I had cable television, I was only able to watch the actual speech portion. But thanks to C-SPAN, I can watch all of the pre- and post-speech events. It's kinda like watching The Oscars. Let me show you how.

First is all the pre-event build-up. Cameras will follow the president as he leaves the White House and makes his way up Pennsylvania Avenue. Most of the time, this is fairly uneventful. Except for once - I think it was Clinton's first speech, you could see the interior light was on for the entire drive; he was still furiously making changes to the speech on his way to deliver it.

And it may have been a different year, but the person in charge of loading his speech into the teleprompter loaded the wrong speech. Imagine the scene: the president standing on the dais in the House of Reps, in front of his supporters and enemies, all of America watching live - and the words for some library dedication start scrolling across the screen. Clinton, the orator he was (and having a written copy in front of him), began to speak until the correct speech was loaded.

Then, returned a couple of years later and gave a speech to a mixed body of individuals that had just voted in favor of his impeachement and would try him on those articles.

Maybe the guy did have it pretty rough, after all.

Next on my level of excitement is when the cameras move over to the Senate. All of the Senators wait, almost bored to death and contemptuous that they actually have to walk over and mingle with the Lower Body. Then the walk across Statuary Hall to the House Chamber. Since this is really the only time to see the full Senate together in non-deliberative mode, it's interesting to see who is chit-chatting with whom; the odd friendships that may occur off the floor, but get shelved during working hours - kinda like Sam the Sheep Dog and Ralph the Wolf.

Then all the dignitaries file in. The visiting Heads of State, The First Lady, the Ambassadors, the Justices, the military contingent.

Then the Cabinet. A little game I always play with myself is see how quickly I can identify the missing Cabinet member. You know, to keep the line of succession alive.
Then my favortite part. The Doorkeep to the House regally bellows: "Mr. Speaker (which always comes out like "Mist-uh Speak-uuuuh"), the President of the United States!!" I've always wanted that job - but just for that night. I wonder if he practices inflections and cadences and overall decibal levels.

The audience busts out in wild cheers and standing applause. Even members of the opposition party climb over each other to shake the president's hand as he walks down the aisle.

Then once the President reaches the dais, he is again announced by the Speaker. Again, several more minutes of wild applause and standing ovations.

After that, the speech itself. If most political speeches are blandly composed to contain a brief attempt at humor followed by a series of sound bites, the State of the Union is an actual attempt at poetry. Of course, it is also written to lead your party's members into often-and-loud bouts of applause while your opponents sit on their hands wishing they could fast-forward through the entire night.

Besides, when else are we willing to parse any other 16 words Bush has to say?

Then after the speech, the Opposition Response (or the Post-Event Party). Usually, this is a rising member within the party and somebody it wants to showcase as a spokesman. Meanwhile, members of Congress make their to Statuary Hall and talk to news reporters from their hometown media to voice their level of support or opposition. And like a post-Oscar acceptance speech, we already know what they're going to say. It's either the best speech ever or the worst of all time. It's either sound public policy or a laundry list of programs we can't afford.

The only thing like the State of the Union is Prime Minister's Questions. Whereas our president is constitutionally obligated to give a one-sided update to Congress once a year, the Prime Minister must engage in a question-and-answer joust with the House of Commons every week.

It takes place live each Wednesday morning on C-SPAN but is re-aired each Sunday evening. And the Prime Minister isn't able to hide behind a large podium and read a prepared text; he sits across the table from the oppostion party, which is surrounded by the rest of the Ministers. One-by-one, Ministers ask a question (which invariably is either a softball to hit out of the park or a riddle that can never be solved) and engage with the Prime Minister in repartee-to-the-death.

Each question and answer is followed by cat-calls and booing from the Opposition and raucous cheering from the Loyalists. Although subtle, personal attacks are not unheard of during these oft-heated exhanges. Whereas the State of the Union is almost church-like it its reverence and solemnity, Prime Minister's questions are full of levity and crude one-liners.

Compared to British politics, ours are very tame indeed.

Nevertheless, you know where to find me Tuesday night.