Mi Casa es, Well, It's My House, But You're Welcome Anytime

One of the areas where Melissa and I could improve is in the area of entertaining guests. To be sure, we entertain ourselves enough, not that what we do is overly entertaining. But when it comes to hosting out-of-town guests, neither one of us is the host with the most.

Don't get me wrong. If you stay at our house, particularly overnight, we'll provide you with the basic amenities. Your own comfortable bed, fresh towels, even a fresh cake of soap. Make a day-trip and we'll try to provide a couple hours of lively conversation.

We'll even take you to our favorite restaurant and may even pick up the check every once in a while. If you're really lucky, I'll even temporarily surrender control of the remote and let you watch whatever you want on tv.

It's the least I can do and that plays to my strengths.

Melissa's mother and step-father stayed with us Friday night. We are still recovering vacationers so we haven't fully reintegrated back into daily life. We're just now catching up on laundry but haven't yet restocked the fridge.

So early Saturday morning, I had to make a quick trip the store for some eggs and sausage. I typically eat a bowl of oatmeal of the weekends but Melissa's stepdad prefers something heavier. And that's part of the problem with entertaining. I don't know what entertains myself half the time; how am I supposed to entertain you?

Another thing. If you want to come up and see us, just give us a call. We lead fairly hectic lives, particularly on the weekend; we just assume that you do, also. We rarely call and ask if you're free to come up and stay with us. That usually presumes a thoughtful and planned schedule of events. And that ain't happenin', my friend. However, if you want to invite yourself, come on up; we don't mind. We'll figure something out.

Stay with us long enough and I'll even figure what you like. I have learned that my mother-in-law enjoys a Hostess cupcake and a Diet Dr Pepper for breakfast. Go figure. When Pops visits, I usually have some ice cream and milk on hand for a shake. And maybe, just maybe, Jackson will eventually entrust me to make his egg sandwich and cut off the crust properly.

My basic philosophy of entertaining I learned from my father-in-law. I'll show you where everything is once. The rest is up to you - feel free to take what you see. The exception is the remote control. I'd rather show you a couple of times instead of having you press so many buttons that SAP gets stuck permanently.

Would that I could, I'd like to be the guy in the Dire Straits song, lyrics provided below. He sounds fun.

On the other hand, a little bit too fun - people are always at his house. And honestly, you want to know my favorite part about entertaining? Waving good-bye to guests as they drive down the road. I know it's yours, too.


My Parties by Dire Straits

Well this is my back yard - my back gate
I hate to start my parties late
Here's the party cart - ain't that great?
That ain't the best part, baby - just wait
That's a genuine weathervane - it moves with the breeze
portable hammock baby - who needs trees?

it's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties

Check out the shingles - it's brand new
'Scuse me while I mingle - hi, how are you
Hey everybody - let me give you a toast
This one's for me - the host with the most

It's getting a trifle colder - step inside my home
That's a brass toilet tissue holder with its own telephone
That's a musical doorbell - it don't ring, I ain't kiddin'
It plays "America the Beautiful" and "Tie a Yellow Ribbon", boy

This punch is a trip - it's o.k. in my book
Here, take a sip - maybe a little heavy on the fruit
Ah, here comes the dip - you may kiss the cook
Let me show you honey - it's easy

Look, you take a fork and spike 'em - say, did you try these?
So glad you like 'em - the secret's in the cheese

It's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties

Now don't talk to me about the polar bear
Don't talk to me about the ozone layer
Ain't much of anything these days, even the air
They're running out of rhinos - what do I care?

Let's hear it for the dolphin
Let's hear it for the trees
Ain't running out of nothing in my deep freeze

It's casual entertaining - we aim to please
at my parties