Does This Letter Really Exist?

Dear Keanu,

Let me express my gratitude for your career choice. I wake up each morning and thank my Creator we are in the same profession.

Like most of America, I was introduced to what is loosely called your "craft" through Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. Throughout your career, I've walked away from your movies with one thought: "It's like he's not acting but just playing characters much like himself."

From the stupefied and imbecilic Ted Logan to the rigor mortis-like personality of Neo, the depth of your acting ability is just beyond of my reach.

Respectfully, however, I am on your heels. I believe that the day is shortly coming that I will overtake your position within the acting community.

For you, sir, are the worst actor of our generation.

Sincerely,

Ben Affleck